Bomb's Away
by wicked-nachos-09
Summary: You're not sure where the time went. You've been in New York for twelve months already. You have four months to prepare yourself; she's six months in and is the epitome of nonchalance and pregnancy glow. You're terrified... Maria/Natasha. Part 2 of The Life and Times of Maria and Natasha Hill.
1. Chapter 1

You're not sure where the time went.

You've been in New York for twelve months already.

SHIELD is officially gone, yet unofficially rebuilding.

HYDRA is gone and you still wish you had snapped his neck.

You see them all on a daily basis; you live a few blocks over from Stark Tower with your wife and you're now an SO.

You're also an Avenger.

You think you struggle at times to adapt; you seem to be losing your skill to manage multiple personalities at once even though your wife disagrees.

At the Tower you slip into the role of 'Agent' quite easily; it's comfortable and easy and familiar.

At home, you find it a little harder.

You can be her wife because you have been for well over a year; it's a foundation of safety and love.

But soon you will be a mother too; you're terrified because you can't remember your own and you have no role models.

When you're alone, you're researching how to be a mother; it all says the same thing, that it comes naturally.

You're Natasha Hill and you're positive it's a conspiracy; you don't have a maternal bone in your body.

You have four months to prepare yourself; she's six months in and is the epitome of nonchalance and pregnancy glow.

She's beautiful and it's cheesy but you fall a little further each day.

Of an evening, you discuss names and nursery colours and she drags your hand across her stomach to follow the flow of kicks; you don't know gender.

You don't discuss your fears.

Until she looks over your shoulder one night; you thought she was in the shower washing off the residue of pressed suits and Stark Industries.

Your laptop is removed from your grasp and she settles herself between the arm of the couch and your body; you've become her favourite resting place recently.

You're forced to listen; you will be able to do this; you will be a great mother; if you struggle she will be there.

You hear her say the two of you are a team.

You nod, and you're kissed long and soft.

Your heart is beating against your chest.

You know how to hide it.

For now.


	2. Chapter 2

You're slaughtering yourself.

You've murdered more punching bags than there are days in the week; Stark has started referring to you as 'the female Cap'.

You haven't slept in over seventy two hours.

For the past three days since she came home you've been trying to work out you emotions so hard that you think you might have fractured something in your hand.

A week ago, you were woken in the middle of the night by your worried wife; something was wrong with the baby.

You spent three days with her in the hospital while they monitored her; they said false labour contractions and chalked it up to stress when she revealed her employer, but kept her for observation anyway.

You've never been so scared; she promised not to scare you.

You brought her home and confined her to bed or the couch; the next day you moved into your apartment in the Tower because Stark had medical equipment and JARVIS to monitor her and the baby.

You've never been so scared; you almost lost the two most important people to you.

You don't understand that fear.

You think maybe this is an instinct coming out in you; one you can't name and makes you think you need therapy.

This can't be normal; you've never been a typical individual though.

Your arms died several bags and you have more anger and fear to use up but you stop; you promised to be downstairs for dinner.

She looks tired three floors down; you only left once JARVIS swore to give you regular updates.

You tell her that you love her.

She tells you to stop punishing yourself; these things happen.

She tells you that she loves you too.

You're silent over leftovers, sitting next to her on the couch.

You speak; you're scared.

You explain; you're attached and there is something about that that scares you yet fills you up all at once.

You tell her; you have 3 months until you're officially a mother which is someone you don't know how to be.

You're Natasha Hill, you're married and your wife is pregnant; you're the emotional one.

You don't know how to control your sudden fear; there is no shield for you to hide behind with this mission.

She tells you that; raising a child is a mission every day to protect them and love them and teach them and help them grow.

You're worried that you won't be able to love this child; you won't be able to be a mother in any capacity.

Your dinner is deposited on the coffee table; you become the resting place for her legs and you see her glow up close.

Now it's your turn.

She speaks; she explains; she tells you.

She knows you can love and that means you can be a mother; it doesn't happen overnight, it's a learning curve both of you will be on.

You can't remember being around a baby in your life; you were usually killing the parents.

You ask how she knows you can love.

She sees it every day in your eyes.

You still have your doubts.


	3. Chapter 3

You're out of your depth.

You're tired and you're sore and you would really like to crawl into bed with your wife; you went back to Budapest.

You've been back at the Tower for an hour; you're ready to run out the door with your wrist half wrapped in your haste to get home.

You walk to clear your mind; everything went to hell just like it did the first time and now you've got bruised ribs, a minor fracture in your wrist and bloodied knuckles.

You had taken the hacker for field experience; your protégé proved herself because if she hadn't have taken that shot you might not be there for the birth.

You get a text message halfway; she knows you're back, Pepper called her, and she apologises profusely because they sprung it on her.

You call her and she answers with a whisper that she's sorry; her parents arrived for a week long visit as a surprise before the baby is born.

You haven't actually met her parents but you've heard things from your wife; military family; her brother died while on tour; they weren't happy when they found out she was SHIELD.

You pick up some flowers from the corner store; you're shaking a little and you don't think it's from Budapest.

She meets you at the door and apologises again; they don't know that you're married.

She stops you before you get too far; you've been gone for a few very long and lonely days.

Her arms wrap around you; your lips find hers.

Your chest stings; you tell her it's okay even though it hurts and squeeze her hand as you walk past to meet them.

They know who you are from the news; you're dangerous to their grandchild and the bandage on your wrist is their proof.

You're Natasha Hill and you don't disagree with them; you take it on the chin with a curt smile and excuse yourself for a beer from the fridge.

She huffs in annoyance at her parents.

You can hear her chastise them for it; the official story is that you both work for Stark and you're now a bodyguard to the former Iron Man.

You hear the word 'roommate' and it stings again; you're surprised they haven't caught on to where you sleep.

You're a wife, and the baby's due in less than two months so you're almost a mother; if they've noticed your rings they haven't said anything.

You've had to hide in plain sight since SHIELD went belly up; you've manage to develop some semblance of a normal lifestyle.

You have to hide in your own apartment.

You are definitely out of your depth; these are your in-laws.

You watch from the kitchen; there's a faint sense of reservation in the way she talks to them, how her body doesn't quite face theirs, how she looks back at you with an apologetic longing.

She winks at you when they're not watching.

You wink back, and attempt a smile over your beer and your plate of your favourite spaghetti.

Your chest stings.


	4. Chapter 4

You like the roof.

You can hide without being too far away; it's quiet but there's still enough noise that you don't forget where you are.

You lay on your back under the afternoon sun; watching the clouds drift calms you.

You manage to put things into perspective when you look up.

You only had to wait until after breakfast the next day; you were spending your morning putting the baby's crib together and there had been a comment about it being the family's job.

You were just the roommate.

She put her foot down; she kissed you with instructions and sides spread out on the carpet and her parents watching like you both had three heads.

You took her out to dinner that night.

You cheesy grin that you didn't even attempt to hide never left your face.

Your in-laws aren't very fond of you; you think it's based on principle.

You hear the door; she lowers herself slowly against the exterior wall of the stairs that lead to the terrace roof.

You've been waiting for almost eight months; the pages and pages you've read on pregnancy and parenthood basically warned you about cravings and high hormones and emotional women.

You feel like it's been too easy; the biggest worry is finishing the nursery on time.

And picking a name.

You're Natasha hill and you were just as scared about raising this child as you were about picking the name; you didn't want to screw up on day one..

You think your wife has developed a sixth sense as a result of the pregnancy; she can read your mind.

You don't have to tell her that you're still worried about being a parent; you can take on a room of fifty armed men or a city filled with aliens who are following an Asguardian King.

But you're pretty sure that this tiny human will be able to bring you down from the first moment you lay eyes on them; you love her bump and you love feeling the baby kick.

You feel her hand on your leg; everyday she tells you that you're going to be a great mother.

You grin under the sunlight; you're actually starting to believe her.


	5. Chapter 5

You're covered in paint.

You can feel the dried pale brown paint on your cheek and your hands; it itches.

You've banned your wife from the loft for the day so you can paint the nursery; apparently paint fumes are bad for pregnant women.

You want to surprise her.

You only have weeks left; there's still a lot to do but you're on edge with worry.

You've read too much on the internet; you packed a hospital bag weeks ago that sits in your closet.

Just in case the baby is early.

You think you've done pretty well; it's not an overly sized room for a nursery but you've put it all together yourself.

You built the crib; you painted the walls; you picked framed pictures of cartoon animals for the walls; you installed the shelves and the drawers; you have to wait for the paint to dry before you can finish.

You're not sure you can give this baby anything from your heart; you've tried to compensate with building the room they will grow in.

You have the music on loud; you're the only one in the building because it's the middle of a business day in the middle of the week.

You had to borrow tips from Clint and Coulson about painting; they were banned from entering the loft while you did it as well.

It's been a long few hours; you had to make sure you didn't hit the window frames and you had to cover the crib and the rocking chair.

You're Natasha Hill and you're proud of yourself; you only realise this when you hear the door slide open.

You quickly pull off covers and yell hello and tell her not to come up just yet.

You finally see the emotional side to pregnancy when you finally let her in; you had to keep the windows open of course.

She tells you that it's perfect.

You tell her it's not finished.

It's from the baby's mama; it's going to be perfect.

You're not as worried when she kisses you through her happy tears.

You're still a little scared.


	6. Chapter 6

You've had another long day.

You spent half of it training the hacker; Skye.

You tell her she's gotten better but she's no Melinda May.

You're running through intelligence will Coulson; you promised Clint a sparring session afterwards.

You're surrounded by the rest of them; Stark has finally made friends who understand his words and is showing those scientists some of his tricks on the other side of R&D.

You occasionally hear a small explosion; every time you look over, you see Clint struggling to hold Skye's attention because she keeps making eyes at the scientist and he keeps staring at Coulson.

There's a beeping; it's noisy but you have nowhere else to go yet.

The Tower is still being refurbished on the office floors.

You hear your name; you're sure you see Clint grimace because you've paled.

You're Natasha Hill and JARVIS is telling you that your wife has just been admitted to the hospital; the baby is coming.

You tell Coulson it's too soon; she's not due for another three weeks.

He tells you to go; keys are thrust into your hands and the elevator to the garage isn't moving fast enough.

Your patience in the traffic is worse; you've never been this nervous or anxious.

You fail to believe that this is just another mission in your attempt to calm yourself.

You get to the hospital; parking is terrible and for all you know your child has already been born.

You stop at the gift shop just in case; the only stuffed animal you can find is a giraffe.

You find the room and your wife with no difficulty; but there's no baby.

Not yet.


	7. Chapter 7

You heart is beating hard in your throat.

You watch from your seat on the bed; your wife is holding your son.

You can't believe he's real; asleep and cuddled into his blanket.

You're scared and in love and worried and whipped all in one.

She offers him to you; she's had him for almost nine months, it's your turn to meet him properly.

You hesitate; you've never held a baby before.

You've definitely never held a baby that's only three hours old before; you say that he's so fragile and precious.

You're told that he is the child of the former Deputy Director of a now debunked World Security Organisation and an assassin, spy and soldier all in one who was an asset to said organisation; your trademark smirk graces your lips and drops almost instantly.

You can't stop yourself from tensing as you take him; your nerves have gotten the better of you.

He yawns; you relax; she smiles tiredly.

You're not sure what you've ever been afraid of before.

You're Natasha Hill, and you're a wife and a mother to a child you haven't named yet; he is known as Baby Hill to everyone for the moment.

She wants you to give him his first name; you had agreed on middle names months before for both genders.

You stare at the infant in your arms; you're still in shock that he's real.

You hear a soft knock on the door; you're still thinking about his name.

You were followed it seems; everyone from the Tower is crowded in the door.

You look up and see Coulson first.

You tell him to meet his godson; another idea you had agreed upon months before.

You tell him to meet your son Theo Michael Hill.

You witness another yawn; he's saying hello.

You smile proudly.


	8. Chapter 8

You're on high alert.

You have been since you brought him home over a month ago; you're worried something might go wrong.

You're a nervous parent; your wife tells you to stop reading things on the internet.

You're struggling; you're constantly nervous even though you try to hide it.

You're used to being aware; you've been on hundreds of assignments and you've had to fight for your life.

But this is a whole new level; you're waiting for something to wrong so badly that you haven't relaxed since you walked out of the hospital.

You think it's stupid and Thor says that you are naturally protective of your child; he became smitten once he learnt that he and the baby had three letters in common in their names.

You're Natasha Hill and you only started to relax after the Macklemore incident.

You've had to take Theo to the Tower a few times; he slept in his mother's office and when she couldn't settle him you took him to the training room while JARVIS played the only thing you had found to calm him.

Stark simply stared and muttered something about odd parenting tactics.

When your wife walked into his room one morning was when you had genuinely calmed down; you disappeared during the night to the nursery and both of you had fallen asleep in the rocking chair.

You've found that everyone is wrapped around your little boy's finger; you are the worst.

Your only problem is that your guard is down.

You've been targeted.


	9. Chapter 9

You're sitting in the dark.

Your son is asleep and your wife is on her way home.

Your guard was down for a moment too long; Red Room was never taken down and they want their asset back.

You listened to the other end of the phone; they found you and they will kill you and her.

He will be their next prodigy.

You will be their next example; your father was going to blow the whistle and that's what got your family killed and earned you a one way ticket to hell.

You thought your enemies were gone; your ledger was _still dripping_.

You wanted to come home; you _hunted_ them down so you could.

You missed one.

You had a wife and child; you had to _protect_ them both.

This was your fight, not theirs.

Your past had followed you and suddenly you doubted you future; you had to live a long life with your wife and watch your son grow up.

You heard your name downstairs so you left him to sleep in the gift from Uncle Tony who had nicknamed him Baby Avenger; his Avengers onesie.

She was worried and practically ran out of a meeting; her hands are on you and she's checking for a physical injury before asking where the baby was.

You sit her down and explain; she glares at you.

She tells you very sternly and very quietly; you married her, you wanted a child, you're not allowed to leave.

You're Natasha Hill and you're not allowed to die; she couldn't handle it and he needs you.

You wish it were that easy.

You spend the night wide awake with your wife as if it's your last.

You cling to each other; nails scratch your back deeply.

You move with deliberate intention; your goal is to remember every inch of your wife.

You make her come undone; she begs you not to leave.

There's a cry from down the hall; you catch your breath and kiss her you're both awake with Theo between you and his wisps of hair poking in every direction.

You have to confront them.

You tell her you'll always come home.


	10. Chapter 10

Your heart breaks.

You think of them back at the loft; you wonder if you wife has woken to realise that you and most of your weapons are gone.

You're in your SHIELD catsuit; you want to distance yourself from whoever meets you in the meat packing district warehouse as much as possible.

You walk; it's 4am and it's drizzling and if you take the car it can be traced back if you die.

You're aware that it's too quiet for a city that never sleeps.

You're met with a man in a suit; he speaks fluent English because you refuse to speak Russian.

You're surrounded by forty or more of his men.

You look at them with a smirk; easy.

Your suit may be tight but you've managed to hide many things beneath it's layers; t's your SHIELD.

You appear confident and strong; you're really shitting yourself because you've realised that you're not ready to die yet.

You think of your wife when you reject his offer.

You think of your son when you start fighting.

You think of them and fight for your life and theirs.

When you're put to the ground by three at once you think of your last night with them.

You smile as you shoot one or two of them; you're not quite sure.

You've killed most, knocked others out; the leader of Red Room simply watches, assessing you and whether or not the situation requires a phone call for an execution.

You have to kill him.

You try and get up; you're put down again.

You're Natasha Hill and you're broken and bleeding and you're about to die.

Your wife is going to kill you.

You feel a rumble beneath you; everything stops.

You hear a dull _clunk_ of metal flying through concrete walls; a window smashes.

You see the Russian's face drop; there's a frightening roar.

You smirk.

Your backup has arrived.


	11. Chapter 11

You're in pain.

You're numb at the same time.

You're waking up.

You hear a beeping.

You hear a woman cooing.

You hear a baby squeal.

You try harder to wake up.

You're in a hospital bed; you're not dead but you're still pretty sure your wife is going to kill you.

When your eyes flutter open you feel a kiss to your forehead; she's saying hello and thanking the heavens and cursing your stubborn side.

Your brain is a little foggy; you can't remember what happened after the deafening roar.

She tells you; she woke up to find you gone and was grateful that everyone was at the Tower.

Stark had JARVIS track your phone.

Skye ran records to find out who you were up against.

Cap and Clint and May and Coulson and Thor and Banner all suited up.

The scientists babysat and monitored the situation.

Fury brought a small army.

You tried to be a hero and your wife put a bullet in the Russian's head.

You have broken ribs and a concussion, your shoulder was dislocated and you were black and blue and red all over by the time they got to you.

You've been unconscious for a week.

You're Natasha Hill and you're alive; you groggily plead for a kiss and she warns you to never do that again.

You scared her; the two of them need you.

You're hit in the face by a now dreaming baby boy; he's saying hello too.

You chuckle and clutch your ribs; they're on fire but you can feel it.

You're alive.


	12. Chapter 12

You hate hospitals.

You're made to stay for two weeks; lounging in your own bed with Theo sounds much more appealing but Maria won't leave you alone with him while your ribs are healing.

You know she's angry at you; she's grateful you're alive and hoping your child won't learn to be so stubborn.

You're released to the Tower only because of JARVIS and you are met with a round of hooray's and gentle hugs.

You smile politely; May calls you brave, Tony calls you stupid, Bruce is just glad you're alive and Thor is too busy wiggling a finger on Theo's belly.

Your chest stings; Skye calls you friend, Steve calls you family, Coulson calls you daughter, Clint calls you his best friend.

You break down the moment you are alone; Maria calls you the love of her life and Theo's mama and you're in tears and begging for forgiveness.

She holds you while you cry; your ribs sting but they're not on fire.

You spend your first day of unofficial freedom is spent lazying around with your wife in bed; the village downstairs watching your son.

When she drags you into the shower she examines you; your ribs are still coloured darkly and a there are healed scratch marks across your back.

You feel her smirk against your lips under the hot spray.

You end up cuddling on the couch and falling asleep; there's the smell of food in the kitchen that wakes you.

And the hungry baby crying for a bottle.

One is thrust into your hand and you swing yourself from side to side gently outside the kitchen; you smile as he sucks greedily and promptly falls asleep.

You're Natasha Hill and you're not sure where the time has gone; you used to be nervous but now you revel in the normalcy of married life and parenthood.

You mutter something about his sleeping habits; your wife hits you with a tea towel for noting the similarity.

You wink.

She laughs.

You kiss her.

She kisses you back.

You're happy.


	13. Chapter 13

You're surprised at how fast time passes.

You're surprised and annoyed and frustrated; you want time to slow down so you can have it for a little longer.

You remember things like it was only yesterday; meeting your wife; falling for her; marrying her; your son being born; putting him down after a bottle.

It's your three year anniversary on Tuesday; you remember it so clearly.

You watch from the couch as he shuffles on his knees; he loves to crawl before he falls to the side stunned and gets up to try again.

You giggle at his antics every time.

You're stunned into silence just as your wife hands you a glass of wine and sits next to you; there's a small voice from inside the play pen.

You've just heard his first word; _you_ were his first word.

You look at your wife; she's staring at you to make sure you heard it too.

You spend the next half hour trying to get him to repeat it; he grows fussy and tired and cuddles into you for a nap.

You're still giddy when you crawl into bed; there's nothing that can take that smile off your face.

You should have another you say.

She smirks at you and climbs onto your lap, asking you if you're sure.

You tell her; you've heard about the fun she had as a child with her brother, something you never had a chance to experience but want for your son.

You're Natasha Hill, former assassin and spy who was an asset to an officially debunked World Security Organisation; you married the Deputy Director and had a child with her.

You've found that you rather enjoy being a mother; nerves about how to hold him are history because you've learnt to adapt.

You feel yourself flood with déjà vu; you tell her you should probably start practising again.

She kisses you with a wide grin.

You pin her to the mattress; you love her.

She flips you over; she loves you too.

You're both wearing smiles; Theo is going to be a big brother.


End file.
